The other day had an unnecessary and intense argument with my partner. While we kept quartered in our sides, still processing the anger and the harsh words exchanged at the heat of the moment, I began thinking of the baggage we carry on our shoulders through life.
It seems we are constantly picking up more trash along the way and rarely finding a proper place to dispose of them. So instead, we end up using moments of conflict to dump on each other all the heaviness humping on our backs.
As a society, we don't do much differently. We keep taking in and absorbing each blow life gives us, and as if we are enduring a torture test, we move on, pushing the limits of the stress we can take. Then a harsh word, one inappropriate comment, or careless actions, can blow out all the nastiness taken from life, often generating a useless outburst of gigantic proportions. It seems there's no way to heal. Ever.
I wonder what it takes for us to reset? Because it seems that sometimes the wound goes much more profound than a sincere apology can fix it. The scars made through life run so deep that even we develop an awareness of them and genuinely regret what has been said or done in the past, it is not enough to scrape them off from our hearts and minds. Instead, they have reprogrammed our experience and memories in a way that they become part of us, surreptitiously dictating our actions without us noticing it. And even if we try to squash them before they begin to linger in, it seems we are never quick enough.
Still debating internally about moving from awareness to healing, I looked for comfort and insight in music.
In his 2014 Art Official Age album, Prince, the legendary prolific singer, and musician tapped on self-help, artificial intelligence, and mindful awareness in this sci-fi-inspired narrative. The power of Prince's lyrics is that while admittedly sometimes cheesy and cliche, the message is ultimately profound. Like this part of the song Affirmation III: "You've probably felt for many years in your former life that you were separate from not only others but even yourself. Now you can see that was never the case. You are actually everything and anything that you can think of. All of it is you."
What I took from this song's lyrics it's that the world around us is ultimately a reflection of all inner state. Yea, it sounds like a conventional spiritual spiel. Maybe it's, but the most significant insights often come from incredibly banal things.
Suppose we start dealing with our internal wounds first? In that case, we may ignite a genuine healing process within ourselves and with the people around us. We spent so much time in our lives calling out people for their mistakes and then blaming them for all the world's misery that we often forget we are all hurt. We always ready to judge others, but unwilling to take responsibility for the mess we made. It’s time to start updating culture, instead of wasting time canceling people. Reset, reboot, update. Let the healing process begins.
People hurt people all the time. And only in the last 2 decades of the 21st century we have witnessed the extent we can hurt each other fueled by ignorance, resentment, entitlement, and intolerance.
Today we say we live in a global village; however, we don't know our neighbors, and we are often afraid of them. Ignorance and fear are such a combustible combination. Speaking of carrying heavy baggage, these two only are enough to create chaos when ignited. But the relief produced by the explosion can only leave us in emptiness. But look around; we live on a tiny pale blue dot in the void, yet, including the void, all of it is us.
I'm sharing these thoughts, but I don't have an answer on how to jump from wondering how things could be better for us as a community to actually promoting change. But while I'm seeking answers, I'm also looking for connection. So, perhaps, connecting with people as human beings could be the first step to healing.
As for my husband and me, we are actually doing well. We both know it's a journey, and we are happily willing to share this path. One step after the other.